Denial?

It has occurred to me that I am rather more upbeat than I would expect someone in my predicament to be. I've realised that friends are looking at me with not only sympathy but also surprise when they ask how I am, and I witter on about finding a new place to live, and how it's so close to the main A road for work etc etc. I think I am probably supposed to be a bit more upset about things than I am.

Am I in denial?

I wonder whether the loss of a relationship is like a bereavement. I guess it would make sense, and in my case, where the end was sudden and shocking, perhaps this amplifies the 'grief reaction' as would happen after a sudden bereavement. The most trendy model of grief, the 'stage' model, is currently being de-bunked in favour of the 'dual process' model, where you are allowed to vacillate between helpful and not so helpful coping strategies. I think I prefer this model, and I wonder whether my absolute focus on the practicalities after our Break Up (i.e. where the hell am I going to live?) has meant that my emotional reaction and raw 'hurt' has been, however temporarily, pushed to one side. I also wonder whether it will come back.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not exactly having a blast at the moment. I feel pretty lonely and am trying my hardest not to think about the Ex, as thinking about him makes me upset. I'm quite good at distracting myself away from the hurt though. Maybe I should be more 'in the moment' and 'sit with the feeling'. Maybe I'm doing exactly what I need to do to survive right now, and once I'm settled in my new abode, bloody Christmas is over and done with, and I no longer am tied to the Ex regarding our tenancy, maybe then I'll feel 'it'. When I felt 'it' for the first few hours and days after I found out he'd been cheating on me, however, it felt a bit like I couldn't go on. I don't want to feel like that again.

I wonder how he feels.